How Therapy Can Help: Common Misconceptions Debunked

Therapy can feel daunting - almost as if it suggests something is wrong with you. When I bring up therapy in conversations, I often hear responses like, “Nah, I’ll be fine” or “I can deal with this myself.” But seeking therapy doesn’t mean you can’t handle your problems on your own. And therapists? They’re not all-knowing, self-enlightened gurus who have life perfectly figured out.

Some people also believe that talking to family or friends is enough. While social support is invaluable, therapy offers something different - an objective space to explore patterns, build insight, and develop tools that go beyond just feeling better in the moment.

Misconceptions about therapy can prevent people from accessing support that could help them gain self-awareness, build resilience, and make decisions from a place of inner wisdom. Therapy isn’t just for crisis situations; it’s a powerful tool for personal growth, emotional well-being, and mental health.

So let’s debunk some myths that often get in the way of seeking therapy.

Myth: Therapy is only for people with serious mental illnesses.

Therapy is absolutely beneficial for individuals with both mild and severe mental health conditions. It helps people understand their struggles, recognize how these challenges impact their lives, and develop a way forward with greater clarity and support.

However, therapy is not only for people with mental illness. As human beings, we all face stressors - whether in relationships, work, parenting, finances, or other aspects of life. While we may have coping mechanisms in place, we also carry deeply ingrained patterns of thinking and behaving that can unknowingly contribute to our struggles. Some of these patterns are so automatic that we may not even realize they’re holding us back.

Therapy provides a space to explore and understand your internal world in ways that aren’t always obvious in day-to-day life. With this insight, you can make more informed choices, develop healthier patterns, and address challenges before they spiral into overwhelming difficulties.

Therapy isn’t just about managing crises - it’s about gaining self-awareness and proactively improving your well-being.

Myth: Therapy is just talking about feelings.

I’ve heard the dreaded “So, how does that make you feel?” more times than I can count. It’s like sitting across from Leonard’s mom in The Big Bang Theory, coldly analyzing my emotions as if I were a science experiment. But real therapy isn’t about sterile questioning; it’s about gaining insight and creating meaningful change.

Sure, sometimes feelings are a part of therapy - after all, emotions provide insight into our internal world. But it doesn’t end there. In fact, the feelings that are most obvious to us (the ones we consciously recognize) aren’t always indicative of how our subconscious mind is making sense of a situation. Therapy isn’t just about what we feel, it’s about understanding the subconscious processes that drive those emotions and behaviors.

Therapy goes beyond venting (like we might do with friends or family). Therapists use evidence-based techniques to help clients:

• Identify and change patterns that may no longer serve them (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - CBT).

• Manage overwhelming emotions (Dialectical Behavior Therapy - DBT).

• Uncover and shift deep-rooted patterns developed early in life (Schema Therapy).

  
  

Therapy isn’t just about feeling better in the moment, it’s about gaining the tools to navigate life with clarity and confidence.

Myth: If therapy doesn’t work immediately, it’s not for you.

We often judge the effectiveness of something based on its immediate impact. When we feel stuck in the same situation with little or no improvement, it’s natural to wonder if therapy is even making a difference. After all, if it worked, wouldn’t we feel better by now?

But therapy is not a quick fix. Some challenges are too complex to resolve in a single 50-minute session. True and lasting change takes time - there are no shortcuts to healing.

Think of your life as a forest.

• When faced with a challenge, you’ve likely taken the same one or two paths - paths that, while familiar, lead to the same outcomes.

• They may provide relief in the moment, but they don’t get you where you truly want to be.

• These well-worn paths are free of obstacles, making them the easiest choice when discomfort arises.

  
  

Therapy helps you recognize these paths - the patterns you’ve been choosing and why. You’ll explore their pros and cons and start considering new ways forward.

Therapy then introduces the possibility of an alternative path, one that’s currently overgrown, difficult to navigate, and unfamiliar. At first, you may still choose the well-worn path because it’s easy and provides quick relief. But the real change begins when you even pause to consider a different route. That pause - that moment of awareness - is progress.

Over time, through therapy, you begin clearing the branches blocking the new path. It doesn’t happen overnight, but slowly, you start forging a way toward long-term wellness. This process cannot be judged after just a few sessions.

Of course, sometimes therapy isn’t working, not because therapy itself is ineffective, but because the therapist may not be the right fit. If you’re feeling stuck, bring it up with your therapist or a trusted professional, they can help assess whether adjustments are needed or explore alternative options that may better support your journey.

How Therapy Actually Works

Therapy is a collaborative process between you and your therapist - a space where you can gain insight into your patterns of thinking and behavior. It isn't just about addressing discomfort; some discomfort is natural and may not require deep exploration.

For example:

• A fear of flying might not need to be addressed if you only fly once a year.

• But if your dream job requires frequent travel, and your coping mechanisms (medication, avoidance) are no longer working, therapy can help you develop new skills.

I know this firsthand.

I feared dogs almost all my life. Then, two years ago, my partner told me he had always dreamed of having a dog. At that moment, I realized I didn’t want my fear to hold him back, or limit our future together.

So, I chose to face my fear. Today, I no longer cross the street when I see a dog. I can pat them without hesitation, and I even enjoy when my clients bring their dogs into therapy sessions. What once seemed impossible has become second nature.

Therapy is about that kind of transformation - helping you navigate challenges, build resilience, and reclaim the parts of life that fear or old patterns may have kept you from experiencing fully.

Why Finding the Right Therapist is Key

Therapists are human, and not every therapist will be the right fit for you.

How to find the right therapist:

• Research their credentials to understand their expertise.

• Ask about their approach to see if it resonates with you.

• Schedule an initial consultation - even a short phone call can help you gauge comfort and compatibility.

As a South Asian therapist, I’ve seen firsthand how important it is for many of my clients to find someone who shares their cultural background or understands cultural nuances.

The right therapist is out there, it’s just about finding the one who makes you feel seen, heard, and supported.

Embracing the Journey of Therapy

Therapy is not about fixing you - it’s about discovering yourself.

Like Mulan realizing her strength wasn’t in becoming someone else, but in fully embracing who she had always been, therapy helps you shed layers of doubt and step into your true self.

There will be moments of discomfort, slow progress, and uncertainty. But healing isn’t about a shortcut - it’s about clearing new paths, step by step, until the way forward becomes clearer.

If you're considering therapy or wondering if it’s right for you, remember; you're not alone, and support is available. Your path to growth starts with one step.

Start your Journey